banter, cats, felines, humour, pets

EMERALD GREEN EYES

Hi there, feline follow!

“Mirror, mirror on the wall”,  as the well known saying goes.Well, we have plenty of those chez nous.  There are mirrors in every room and this is great. However, some of them are placed a bit too high for us to use. So it is fantastic that we now also  have a “mirror mirror on the “FLOOR” which is actually much more interesting if you are a cat. You can study yourself in it each time you pass by, just for admiration purrr-poses in general. You can also use it  to check for instance  that your whiskers are spruce and lively, that your coat is smooth and gleaming, or that your smile is dazzling. Of course all four of us understand that it is ourselves we are looking at, not some mysteriously elusive cat-behind-the-mirror. We are smart as well as gorgeous to look at, you know…

The gold mirror is very  long and positioned beside the piano. It arrived a couple of weeks ago and I have been so fascinated by it that I quite forgot about my blog….. Sorry…..But it is good that I have something interesting to tell you about, right…

The floor  mirror has led to some interesting discussions between me and my brother Lord Tiger. Tiger started telling me that he had EMERALD GREEN EYES and everybody keeps admiring them because they are so green.

But I think that I also have emerald green eyes because my eyes are also green and also very beautiful .

Herkules says PURRR....

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Lord Tiger giving you his best hypnotic stare

We really are both such look-alikes, aren’t we? So our mom is so fortunate that she has two cats with eyes the colour of a precious stone… And we are so happy to have a floorlength mirror to admire ourselves in EVERY time we pass by. I have even seen Lord Tiger gazing admiringly into the mirror while working out on the scratching post. Shame he lost his balance and landed with his bottom on the carpet…There is no risk this will happen to me as working out is not something I spend time on. Anything with the word W O R K is totally alien to me. Mention that word and my emerald green eyes will turn as black as jet in a second!

Go to go and check out my appearance in the mirror now. A visitor will be arriving shortly and I want to look my very best. I do so love getting compliments on my appearance , don’t you?

HERKULES

banter, cats, felines, pets

Bewitched by the BubbleWitch!

Where have I been you may well wonder?

Well, so glad you all missed me and my witty views of this that and t’other but in fact I have not been ANYWHERE in particular. I have been enjoying lazy summer days Chez moi, busy hanging out with my family and friends. Busy of course checking on the housekeeper, keeping her busy with extra duties since she was free to work full time during the summer vacation.

But this would give me a lot of time to work on my blog then, wouldn’t it? That was of course my plan but…..well, read on, loyal feline friends….

The housekeeper decided to buy an Ipad just in time for my birthday. This was something that was up there right at the top of my wish list since the old laptop was beginning to sound like an old tractor and getting strange hangups EVERY DAY during the wonderful month of May! Not good for my ears or my nerves! Mumsy aka the housekeeper explained in great detail all about the magical benefits of the pad which would be so much easier for me to work on since I could just press down with my paws straight on to the screen. Anyway, ipad arrived, mumsy and ipad became fast and firm friends and I could not lay as much as a quarter of a Paw on it as she was virually glued to the thing day and night!

But then she started playing a computer game called BubbleWitch Saga 2! This looked really fun as there was a cute feline and a witch on the screen and lots of lovley bubbles which you had to burst in order to get ahead in the game. I was so excited about giving it a try…when

Lord Tiger and his cup of tea!
Lord Tiger and his cup of tea!

Lord Tiger discovered that gaming was his cup of tea! Look at his smug look! I hardly get a chance to get hold of the wretched ipad because both Mumsy and he are obsessed!

 

 

Lord Tiger is bewitched!
Lord Tiger is bewitched!

Beware of the BubbleWitch- she might get you guys hooked as well!

Managed to write this post while Lord Tiger was fast asleep….OH, HERE HE COMES….

See ya!

HERKULES

banter, Blue gangsta, cats, felines, pets, Uncategorized

BLUE GANGSTA HERK!

HI THERE FELLOW FELINES!

Today I am busy solving a problem!

I love MY bed! As I guess you all do, but our housekeeeper/Mom needs to understand a thing or two, as I guess yours does too….

The BED- as you all probably know it’s THE best place to hang out in the afternoons  and to STREEEEEETCH out across  in the evenings and nights! It is warm and cosy and it certainly has so much more space than a silly little catbed! In fact Charlie, Lord Tiger and Sir Rufus all enjoy hanging out on the bed and since it is quite large there is room enough for all of us. Not that we wouldn’t like to go from Queen Size to KING Size but at least it has a Royal touch fitting for us cats who have the art of sleeping down to a Royal T!

Now on to the The UNROYAL invasion!

During the night my style gets a bit cramped because our Mom apparently thinks she has the right to invade MY space! What a cheek! These two-legged ones, if you give them a TINY piece of one of your claws they’ll take your entire PAW…. I let my Mom lie on the bed once or twice when I was a kitten and suddenly she had taken over  the pillows and the duvet as well. I thought Mom could lie on the very edge with half of her body draped halfway between the bed and the floor. I thought she would enjoy the experience of  , well, you know, floating …… feeling free and all that. But she did not enjoy the experience, she just tried to push herself further and further on to the bed…..Her long extremities are so disturbing and in the way- and Charlie really has to fight so he can lie on both pillows which means she gets pushed further down in the bed and there lie Lord Tiger and Sir Rufus trying to have a good night’s sleep! Honestly, I am so frustrated! Sometimes I lie on her arm and am busy dreaming sweet dreams and she suddenly decides to turn around, and my delicious dream turns from sweet to nightmare!

 

AND ON TOP OF IT ALL SHE HAS THE NERVE TO CALL ME A GANGSTA!

Well, Mom, since you like this hiccuping moonwalking screechy dude I have fixed a photo of myself as a BLUE GANGSTA:

Blue and smooth gangsta Herk
Blue and Smooth gangsta Herk

And now, Mom, while you go off to work I will have a nice and long relaxing snooze listening to The King of Pop’s latest offering for inspiration on how to deal with the space invader:

What you’re gonna do (What you’re gonna do do)
You ain’t no friend of mine (Look what you’ve put me through)
Look what you’ve put me through (What are you gonna do)
Now that I’m the blue gangsta (What you’re gonna do)

I will deal with you in a smooth but gangsterishly Royal way so that you will understand that half on and half off the bed is far better than ON THE FLOOR!

banter, cats, felines, humour, pets, Uncategorized

Easter Fun!

Happy Easter to all my followers!

It is Easter which means lots of fun things to play with for us felines. In fact feathers attached to branches are ever so fascinating…. Here we see clever Sir Rufus ready to assist with the Easter decorating:

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Sir Rufus is a very creative and acrobatic cat and here he demonstrates both these abilities. In fact he looks a bit like a kangarooo….He often hops around like one too…

Anyway,  Rufus decided that those green feathers would look better spread out on top of the tablecloth than attached to the branches off an old tree! I think it took him three minutes to carry out his mission! Lord Tiger watched admiringly but did not take part. He was more interested in posing for the camera sporting a yellow Easter bow. Here is his best shot in true Top model style:

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Our little Easter bunny-always cute and sweet as honey!

Charlie was also keen to take part in the Easter photoshoot. Here he is wearing a delightful Easter card accompanied by an Easter egg:20140418_110807

Speaking of eggs I am beginning to feel a bit peckish. It was AGES since I had my dinner.  A nice raw egg yolk would suit me purrfectly right now. I hear Mom scrambling some eggs in the kitchen so better be off before she stars baking and all those lovely eggs will have disappeared.

Happy Easter!

Herkules

banter, cats, felines, pets

THE CLOCKS WENT BANANAS!

TIME FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!
Talk about IRRITATING!
In our house we all want to enjoy sleeping in the early hours instead of being forced out of bed at an unearthly hour!!!!!

Apparently it’s all due to some daft old English two-legged one who liked getting up at the crack of dawn and wanted everyone else to share his obsession! Well, William- we wish you would have kept your stupid idea to yourself. But unfortunately you are dead and buried long time ago so we cannot tell you to your face what we felines think about Spring Forward! However, this wonderful Clock made us purr with delight but we guess that you would have detested it…

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We LOVE the fact that the face of the Clock is reversed! But then, we are raised on Alice and her Adventures Through the Looking Glass and this has made us into anarchists! Blame it on our Mom!

Unfortunately, a state of shock still prevails in our house after Sunday’s time change. Our Mom overslept two mornings in a row and had to dash out of bed, throw herself in the shower, feed us and get her clothes on in one hell of a hurry! We feel really sorry for her because at least we can go back to bed and have a post breakfast snooze which she of course cannot do since she has to get off to work! Yesterday evening she was so tired she came home and had tea and scones and fed us that she fell asleep on the couch and slept for 2 hours! She didn’t even react to Charlie climbing all over her! And Charlie is a big cat!

We all hate it so much!

We and Sir Rufus long for October when the clocks go back to decent time again:

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Meanwhile, enjoy going to bed one hour earlier instead.

Nightlight wasting time IS HERE !

HERKULES

banter, cats, felines, humour, pets, Uncategorized

MEET LORD TIGER!

PURRRRRR  to all my feline followers!

I bet you all want to know more about the mysterious TIGER that appeared here on my page!

Was he just part of Sir Rufus’s Dream or was he for real?

Well, to cut a very looooooong story short Lord Tiger first put in appearance in our home at the end of last October. He arrived late at night together with our MOM on All Saint’s Day.  I remember it all perfectly….

We  were all lying fast asleep in the dark while our Mom was off visiting  her buddy Anders who lives close by. Before she left she promised us a BIG SURPRISE for the weekend! Ha, we sure didn’t expect the surprise to be  a large silver grey and white striped  cat with large emerald green eyes!!!! A mini tiger who roared. And he roared most of the night. But we were all very well behaved and didn’t start to fight with him.  Charlie was the one who showed his teeth and spouted some fire but I was too tired to start investigating, and Sir Rufus reverted to his diplomatic aloof- slightly -interested -mode. We – the Three Mousketeers-  silently agreed to wait until morning to find out what this cat was doing in our home.

Morning came and after breakfast which was served separately to Lord Tiger we were formally introduced. Lord Tiger was to live with us for a couple of weeks to see if we would all get along. He had been staying at the same shelter as Sir Rufus but then Anders had taken a fancy to him and taken him home. However, his black Oriental Madonna in Residence was not the playful kind so Lord Tiger was of course bored and Anders felt it was not the right home for him. Our Mom had met Lord Tiger at the shelter and had thought he might suit in our home but Anders had apparently snitched him right under her nose!!!

Lord Tiger more or less immediately made himself at home and we all got to know each other during the weekend. There was some hissing and staring while crossing paths, some proud and bushy tails being displayed but otherwise we managed to eat a few meals together without any fracas. Come bedtime we all slept like Lambs, , tired after all the excitement of having a new feline in our home. 1467470_10151982720642290_86580211_n

 

After we had eaten a hearty breakfast on the Sunday morning  I- being Top Cat – had a long conversation with Lord Tiger  where I explained the rules in our home. Lord Tiger , being a smart and intelligent fellow feline listened intently and by the end of the day we were all able to hang out together in the same room without any tensions.

In fact I must admit we found it all pretty exciting!

So Lord Tiger is in fact very real!  And after  a few  more days it felt like the spunky racoontailed little fellow had more or less always been a part of our family….

Of course Mom  adopted him after a couple of weeks and we were  all delighted about this happy event. Sir Rufus and Tiger spend a lot of time wrestling and I and Tiger have long and lovely grooming sessions. Charlie and Tiger often play hide and seek and chase each other from room to room with carpets flying  and tails swishing in delight. Anders comes to visit fairly often and Tiger and he  love headbutting each other. In fact, Lord Tiger always welcomes Mom with some major headbutting when she comes home from work or from shopping. Headbutting two-legged ones seems to be his thing, the Little Rascal!

 

banter, cats, felines, humour, Magic, pets, Uncategorized

The Lion and the Unicorn

Today I am going to entertain you with a little story about Sir Rufus and his unicorn dream. It has a bit of a surprise ending which makes it all the more fun!

Sir Rufus was very tiredlast Sunday  after having enjoyed   a lovely lunch. In fact he had eaten both his own portion and half of mine so his belly was really full.  So Rufus decided to lie down on the couch, cuddling up to his favourite cushion, the one with the large white unicorn.

thelionandtheunicorn

Suddenly Rufus heard a melodious voice whisper in his ear: ” Hello, precious one, how about letting me have the crown for a while now. You took it but I  can’t see that you are ever wearing it. And it would look much better on me…”

 Sir Rufus began to wonder if he was going slightly mad because cushions don’t usually speak , now do they? But the unicorns lips were moving and he began  stretching his long legs and shaking  his mane in an alarming manner ,  so Sir Rufus- who wasn’t the bravest of old sports , decided to recite a poem he knew in order to buy some time:

The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown
The lion beat the unicorn all around the town.
Some gave them white bread, and some gave them brown;
Some gave them plum cake and drummed them out of town.

 

The unicorn began to swish his tail and look even more irritated so Sir Rufus quickly said: “I am NOT the lion that took the crown away from you. He was much bigger than me. Have you ever seen me wearing a crown, Sir Unicorn?”

The unicorn had to admit that he thought it strange that Sir Rufus never wore the crown after having fought so hard to get it. Sir Rufus licked one of his front paws slowly and then he said in an innocent voice “I have never worn a crown but I have heard it said that crowns  are so very uncomfortable to have on one’s head . I guess the poor lion suffers from  a headache every time he wears it.You, Sir Unicorn, look so very regal in yourself that you do not need a crown.”

The unicorn began to feel flattered and looked admiringly at Sir Rufus. What a smart little lion he was! But he was badly in need of some styling advice , thought the unicorn.  He decided to start by giving him a little bath in order to make his lovely red coat glisten. Sir Rufus enjoyed this at first but after a few minutes felt that the unicorn had quite a large and  very wet tongue so he carefully raised his front paw to tell him to take a pause- in the politest possible way, of course. But when he opened his eyes he found that the unicorn had turned into A TIGER!

Lord Tiger

And exactly who the tiger is I will tell you in my next post!

HERKULES

banter, cats, Freddie Mercury, humour, pets

ROYALTY IN DA HOUSE.

Hi there, my feline followers!

Today I  found  a book on astrology  lying on the couch and by chance got my paws on the LEO page. Or I should say “pages” because there was A LOT of interesting stuff in the book about this regal star sign. I suddenly realized that we are sharing our home with a LEO so I continued reading as I wanted to learn more about our marmalade pumpkin of a  little brother.

Yes, you guessed correctly- Sir Rufus is a LEO feline. And after reading the astro facts about these dudes they certainly need keeping an eye on!

I remember the very first time SIr Rufus  saw me and Charlie  he fluffed  up his tail so he looked twice his size in an attempt to impress us with his leonine airs! Of course this didn’t impress us much but it was funny to see a little kitty trying to look like a big kitty. BTW Charlie’s black tail is way longer than Little Rufus’ racoonish we tail!

Leo cats are born between July 23 and August and are ruled by the sun. They love GOLD and the colour of marmalade and pumpkins. Yes, Rufus certainly makes a pretty picture spread out in golden splendour on the velvet cushions:

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Leos enjoy entertaining guests and being the object of admiring comments and luxurious gifts. Well I don’t really mind as I prefer to keep myself to myself. LIttle Leo Rufus adores working a room full of two-legged ones with his charming ways. And since  Leo cats always want to look their best you’d better keep a high quality set of grooming tools in tip top condition , Mom! Compliments on their well groomed appearance always warms a Leo’s heart!

Leo Rufus is also quite a demanding little kitty and if he is hungry yo can hear him in a loud voice demanding  his breakfast,lunch or dinner NOW. Rufus in true Leo style only likes high quality food. Served in an elegant china bowl  of course! His very own of course!

Since Leos are jungle cats they need lots of tall scratching posts and interesting climbing areas to keep them happy. Fortunately we have three scratching posts and a tall bookcase for climbing expeditions. Rufus is very inventive and enjoys exploring his domain in a daring fashion…

Leos enjoy showing of their dramatic side. They TAKE PLEASURE in  staring at you with large luminous eyes before taking a flying leap into the air or swinging themselves vigorously round and round a scratching pole . Rufus is an expert at drawing attention to himself, a little drama Queen…..

Speaking of royalty…In the astrobook it says “Leo is a fiery masculine sign of kitty royalty. The males are kings and the females are queens and everyone in their domain their loyal subjects.”WELL-

“Dream on SIr Rufus”  because the king of this castle is Don Herkules!

banter, cats, felines, pets, Uncategorized

THE FURRY CHEF RECOMMENDS 2

FANTASTIC FISH COOKIES

The PURRFECT TV SNACK

furrychef

Hi there, my FELINE FOLLOWERS!

I don’t know what it’s like in your corner of the world but in ours there are SOOOOOOO MANY   cookery shows on the television these days. Major YAWN from yours truly!

I admit I do enjoy shows that deal with nice stuff to eat  but sometimes I get  so fed up watching  that I press the remote control with my paw to get away from one chef/wanna-be chef only to land straight on the chopping board of another. I guess you know the feeling when that happens….

The Naked Chef, The Angry Chef, The Busiest Chef, The Fastest Chef, the list goes on and on, doesn’t it?

However, I don’t see ANYof these  busy-and-clever-in-the-kitchen dudes  making FOOD FIT FOR AN EXACTING feline palate!

Shame-shame-shame!

Of course we DO like some of the food that the two-legged ones eat but we would love something special just for us! Such as a nice little something to enjoy while watching  Mickey Mouse getting slapped around  or silly horses busy racing round a track. After all our MOM is always popping some little delicacy  into her mouth when she is lounging on the couch watching dudes busy with needle and thread in Project Runway or drooling over Keith Urban in Americal Idol.  However,  I certainly don’t want to try any of the things she enjoys eating, Yuk! Two-legged ones have some really weird food habits as we felines very well know….

But do not despair because here is a little tasty something  just for us !

Brought straight to you from HERKULES THE FURRY CHEF!

Check out the ingredients below  and then write a list for your MOM for when she next goes shopping.

INGREDIENTS:

225 g plain wholemeal flour

200 g  pressed cod roe

50 g olive oil

1 egg

HOW TO MAKE ‘EM:

1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C.

2. Put all the ingredients into a mixing bowl.

3. Mix into a soft dough. Add a little water if teh mixture gets too stiff.

4. Turn onto a floured surface and roll out  to about 0.5. cm thick.

5.. Cut out the biscuits  ( fish shapes would be lovely)  and place on a baking sheet.  

6. Bake in the oven until crisp and golden.

Allow to cool and then store in an airtight tin.

I strongly recommend that the two-legged one does all the oven-related stuff as ovens are dangerously hot. You , my feline friends, can do the mixing and cutting the mixture into suitable shapes. And of course then you get a really good chance to do some tasting work!

Take it from me- these little fish snacks are delicious- GUARANTEED to  set your whiskers aquivering with delight!

HERKULES THE FURRY CHEF

banter, cats, felines, humour, Magic, pets, tarot, Uncategorized

HERKULES FIRST EVER TAROT CARD READING

I a soooo excited because our MOM has just received

a TAROT deck in the mail!

What is that, you may ask?

Well, it’s  really just a number of cards in a box accompanied by a little book on how to “read ” the cards. The cards are quite large and have different scenes painted on their fronts, but their backs all look the same. There are a lot of different decks to choose from and each  deck also has  a name- but we wont bother about that right now.  However, I might mention that I chose this particular deck because I was bored with my MOM staring at different tarot decks so I put my paw on the keyboard so this one  dropped into the online shopping cart…Our MOM really needed some help to reach a decision so “Handy Herk” decided to take matters between his two front paws…

TAROT cards may look “ordinary” but as I see it they are “magical” and anything with the word “magic” really makes my whiskers quiver in positive anticipation. As you all know I am  the “MAGICAL MYSTERY CAT” so learning some tarot stuff feels really up my street.

Incidentally, I have read on the internet that some two-legged ones do professional tarot card readings so I thought to myself-

How difficult can this  be?”

Maybe I can try my paws at it and perhaps even earn some cash for some TASTY TREATS

or COMFY CUSHIONS?

Magically awesome idea!  Come to think of it  I bet there are CATS out there that really would appreciate being given a tarot reading by a smart  feline like me!  Perhaps even DOGS  would ask for my services….

But let’s get back to the here and now before that nosy Sir Rufus wakes up!

I am going  to  push the box of cards  off the coffee table so that I can have a good look at them. DONE!

Gosh, there are  sooooo many! How long time will it take to read all the different meanings of these cards? 

But I quickly decide to ignore the book and grab a card- one with a BIG cat on it!

It is  called 

The QUEEN OF WANDS

ME AND MY MOM

WOW! I REALLY  LIKE this card. Of course – it shows an attractive  lady and a handsome feline, mirroring  me and my MOM!

We both look strong, confident and full of energy. Ok, the lion might not be striped like me……in fact it really looks more like Sir Rufus than my good self, but still it is a FELINE and that is what is important here. It shows that  the lady has the strength and courage of a lion  and MOST IMPORTANTLY-   that she has the good sense to enjoy feline company. She looks very free and happy and the wand makes her look powerful and ready for action.

The lady reminds me of my  MOM either holding a  cat  amusement  wand, a wooden spoon , or  her riding crop . These symbolize  her three main interests: entertaining us cats, baking cakes ,  and riding dressage.

There is also a BIG BIRD up above. Now birds don’t impress me all that much but this is an EAGLE  and this probably means that the Queen of Wands is an inspiring and daring visionary since she is able to look at stuff from a bird’s eye perspective. Jolly useful I’d say. I also love the three balls and the fact that Mr Leo has caught one of them…Clever cat!

PHEW, THIS WAS REALLY HARD WORK!

But I think I did pretty well, don’t you? I might well become an expert with a bit more practise. And then you are all welcome to book me for a reading!

Gosh, I am very  HUNGRY!

I need to get to the kitchen and interrupt my MOM in her baking session so that I get my dinner.

Tell that  QUEEN OF WANDS to  drop that darned wooden spoon and dish up the Royal Canin!

HERKULES